Mark Twain once wrote, “The difference between a good word and the right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” This piece of country wisdom helps to illustrate the impact someone’s choice of words can have. Not just the words we tell others, but more importantly the ones we whisper to ourselves. Words have substance. Words have power. Words have impact.
I’d like you to explore with me the influence self-talk has on shaping our view of the world and our beliefs about reality.
The Formation of Self-Talk
The thing is, when we tell stories to ourselves (yes, it’s OK to talk to yourself), we don’t always choose good words, much less arrange them into helpful, beneficial stories. More often than not, we can be pretty horrible to ourselves. How does this even happen to us?
For our entire lives, we’ve been hearing stories. Our parents, family, teachers, friends, television, strangers, movies, books and randomly overheard conversations. While we are young and our brains and personalities are still developing, we are continuously absorbing information from our surroundings. We had yet to create filters to help us differentiate what information applied to us and was about us, much less what was accurate, true and beneficial.
The Power of Negative Narratives
These random fragments merged and formed the first stories we would run through our heads. Which in turn became the foundations of our thoughts, beliefs and personalities. Over time they evolved and changed and grew stronger. The stories became perceptual filters influencing how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Many people are in the habit of using stories that dis-empower themselves. In his book, “The Happiness Hypothesis”, Jonathan Haidt explores the idea that for every negative emotional experience, people need at least three positive emotional experiences to balance them out. This could mean we are three times more likely to accept negative thoughts about ourselves. This could also be why it is so easy for us to believe the worst about ourselves.
- Stories of how we are not good enough.Â
- Stories of how we are not deserving.
- Stories of how we don’t belong.
- Stories of how we are going to fail.
- Stories of how we are unlovable.
- Stories of how we are powerless.
- Stories of how we are victims.
Those negative stories close us off from the possibility of success and happiness. They put us into resource-poor states of mind that make us feel we have very few options in life. Thankfully, those negative stories are merely hallucinations.
Improving Your Personal Narratives For Success
Now that you know those negative stories aren’t really there by your choice, what do we do about them? I’m glad you asked!
- Identify your current dis-empowering stories. Quite often, just by recognizing the stories for what they are, you weaken their hold on you. Their greatest strength comes from hiding in the shadows when you are only peripherally aware of them.
- Rewrite your stories: Write out the stories you’ve been repeating to yourself. Then change them. Remove the parts that are hurtful, dis-empowering or make you a victim. Make them into empowering stories that align with your goals and desired outcomes. Become the author of your stories and shape your reality.
- Tell yourself empowering stories: Whenever you catch yourself telling a dis-empowering story, stop yourself and start telling yourself your new story of empowerment. You’ll slip up from time to time and that’s OK. Be diligent and continue telling yourself your new stories.
Empowering Your Future With Hypnotherapy
However, my absolute favorite method is hypnosis. Hypnotherapy easily and effectively helps you dig deeper into your subconscious mind and release the negative charge associated with your stories. A skilled hypnotherapist can easily guide you through the process of changing your stories on a deeper level so the uplifting and empowering ones are more prominent. Changing Limiting thoughts and beliefs and replacing them with empowering beliefs helps to propel you toward the success and happy future you deserve.
As you continue on your journey of self-reflection and transformative storytelling, know that many have walked this path and found their way to happiness and fulfillment.
Remember, you are not alone!
